It’s that time of year again, when Halloween candy wrappers drift across the threshold of your home and mingle with the leaves of the lawn, when intermittent flurries tease in the downpours, but only at the right time of day, and that most horrible time of the year called Daylight Savings! <Gasp!>

It’s also the time of year when people get sponsored to grow out their facial hair. If you are an individual that can grow a beard, you should really consider finding sponsorship through November and regrow your beard – or maybe even grow it out in the first place.

It’s also a time where writers are encouraged to write, thanks to the organization of the best (in the opinion of this writer, at least) kind of competition: namely with myself. I have no interest in beating other people (except in Settlers of Catan) but I absolutely appreciate competing with myself. This is competition, as it forces me to get the job done, to get the words out, to get it down on paper, with nobody else having to suffer from my success.

Since July, when I closed the book on edits for the YA novel – and which I’ve been shopping for agents since then – I’ve been gearing up for this event. I’ve populated a massive list of characters, finalized some final details about the setting, written an outline, and – upon realizing that the novel needed a ticking time bomb – written a full three-act play. Yeah. When the year started, I had no idea I’d be adding playwright to my resume… but now it’s there. Will it ever see the light of day? Will anything I write? Well, jury’s out. I’m pushing the envelope with Escape, at least, as far as getting it out there is concerned. But I digress. This paragraph is about what I’ve been doing to prep for this November. Despite all the prep, I hadn’t written a single word in the new novel.

Then came October 31st, with me enjoying some of my favorite Halloween candy as I wrapped up the finishing lines of the Play. With the final “-Fin-“, I spun around in my chair, threw up my hands and gave a big ol’ “Woot!” of joy. I had done it. The Play was done, and tomorrow, I could finally start this novel that I’ve been brainstorming for years.

“Time to check out NaNo, get it all set up,” I thought, pulling up the page.

Wait… What controversy?!? AI? Eh… I get it. Don’t worry. My work is 100% AI free. In fact, I refuse to look at anything that’s created by AI. It just goes against my concept of what art is. You’re welcome to use it, but I won’t touch it. I haven’t spent hundreds of thousands of hours honing my skill, figuring out the complexities of the English language – of syntax, of flow, of beat, rhythm, of improvisation, of grammar, of the subtle differences of onomatopoeia and homonyms and homophones, of the five verb forms – just to throw it all away for the sake of a writing program that might only potentially help with my writing, and will likely make me a pariah to the writing community. But then it wouldn’t be me – AI isn’t me. Using it might make the creative process easier, but I don’t write for simplicity, I write because I’m compelled to. As for what was said by the admin of NaNo, well, I don’t really agree with everything. I stand by what I said before – that NaNo gives me a chance to personally excel, providing me with a framework and a goal by which to dedicate my work. If I use AI, then it’s not MY work. Ok. Not a problem. I can see how people are annoyed by the classism expressed in the letter, but I’m just going to keep my head down and continue-

Wait. More controversy?!? Well, shit. That’s just not cool. Being a victim of creative prey, I am 100% wholly against this kind of behavior. Scams are bad enough, but connecting innocents with pedophiles? That’s wholly unforgivable. Sex should not be used as a bludgeon – it should be something enjoyed and savored, to be shared between consenting adults. Sex gets a bad enough name, but sexual assault is wholly unnecessary. And now for the main problem: dreams. We all have them. See above for a very big one of mine, one that gives me the motivation to get up every single day. I think probably everyone who participates in NaNo feels similar about the opportunity to write. I’m ancient, sporting more grey than my original brown, so I’ve got a cushion of life lessons under my belt, but the kids who’re just getting into this creative world don’t. Not everyone comes from an ivory palace where the entire kingdom lives and breathes to help protect and guide them. If the kids of the current world were anything like me, they’d be trying everything, making an effort to sample what works and what doesn’t. I was lucky – I had no bullies at school, and I had a small group of very close friends. I did sports – skiing, soccer, and equestrian – and was frequently collaborating with others to reach the (sometimes literal) goalposts, which encouraged countless opportunities to socialize and interact.

But what if you’re a fifteen-year-old kid, socially awkward, a lover of books, and desperate to connect with new people? What if you’ve come up with a story that you think is amazing, but just need the motivation to write? What if you join a community like NaNo, looking for guidance, advice, and a means of connecting with people, but more importantly, to be able to start living that dream? What if you open yourself up to those people, trusting them – let me repeat that: TRUSTING them. And they betray that trust.

Where does that leave you? What does that do to you? Will you ever want to write again? Does this betrayal – and the accompanying assault – ruin socialization for you forever? Do you withdraw into yourself, wounded, terrified that any future interaction will betray you like NaNo did? Will you be corrupted by it to become something terrible, every bit as abusive as the abusers were? Or will you use this to overcome the trauma, to learn to trust once more, and push yourself beyond it, knowing that you are better than that, stronger than that?

Go on. Ask yourself those questions. And if you give yourself the time to answer them, perhaps you might understand why such a controversy is a horrible, truly terrible thing.

I’d like to think that everyone who was a victim of this will rise above like in the last example, but let’s face it. Getting up in the morning can be really fucking hard. If the one thing you had to push you onto your feet is gone… well, what’s the point?

If you were a victim of that, please, I’d be happy to hear your side. I’d love to hear what you’re doing to overcome that trauma. We all have traumas, but that doesn’t diminish yours, or minimize yours.

All I can say, for right now, is “I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault. I hope you can rise above this.”

As for NaNoWriMo in 2024, will I be participating?

In a word, Yes.

While the situation isn’t perfect, NaNo has been taking steps towards ensuring that such grooming and abuse never happens again. When you have a system that has been manipulated by unsavory individuals for personal gain, it damages the cred of that system. The reform of that takes time. It might be years before NaNo recovers from this, and many will be stepping away from it forevermore. With the additional controversy of allowing AI to be used by NaNo writers, sure, it’s another massive blow to the project.

So why am I going to use it? First of all, I didn’t use it for a community. I have a terrible time communicating with others about writing; even when I was at school, I might have had suggestions for people, or wanted suggestions, but they were actually reading what I was writing, and vice versa. Without the context of the whole piece of art, snippets might sound good, but where’s the rest? I chose not to interact with the forums (where most of the felons preyed, and thus, I was wholly oblivious of anything being even remotely wrong) because my interactions with people would amount to “I’m writing a novel about A, B, and C.” and “I wrote 3000 words today!” You see the problem with those? They don’t really invite discussion.

What do you talk about on forums? Feel free to share below!

The other reason I’m going to do it this year is a really simple one: Your story will not appear with the wave of a magic wand. It will only come from putting the time into it, of putting one word down after another.

Raise your hand if you think that’s hard!

Because this guy sure does!

It sucks! No, IT SUCKS! Your butt gets sore, you get sick of sitting in one position for hours on end, you suffer a terrible case of FOMO, dreading the world is passing you by, you second-guess yourself constantly, your relationships often suffer, it’s all time that you could be exercising or traveling or working a job that pays real money that you can actually use for other things. It dominates your life, pulls you from games, and movies, and other books, and stories you love, and people you love, and there is NOT. ONE. SINGLE. GUARANTEE. THAT. YOUR. STORY. WILL. SELL. Let alone become a best-seller.

Oh yeah, writing is for the dogs.

But if you feel the call, there ain’t nothing in this world that’ll scratch that itch but getting your fingers to work on a keyboard or with a pencil or pen.

And that’s why I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year. I need to sit my ass down and punch out these words. The goal of NaNo is really very simple. Outside of all the bells and whistles and badges, it’s really very very simple.

It’s November. Write 50,000 words of a brand new novel.

That’s pretty cool. If I start, I have two options. Either I’ll complete it and feel that great sense of having another 50k words completed and under my belt. If I don’t complete it, then I’ll still have done all that I’ve done. Victory or not. Just me and a simple goal.

I like that. I’m sure others do too. I’m sorry that there have been individuals who have had to suffer as a result of this. That’s not cool at all. But I like having the framework of the premise guiding me, forcing me to compete against myself. You don’t have to ever do it again, but I like the motivation it gives me to create. It gives me something to get out of bed for.

For those that don’t, I hope you find something that motivates you to create just as well as NaNo did. I hope your words flow like a babbling brook, that ideas will blow in on the breeze, and that you make the time to share your words with the world. You have your voice. Give it the words it needs to communicate.

The Queen has spoken.